Here's the question. Is affection taboo when seeking a casual encounter? On other dating sites I'm either vilified for being married and seeking affection or I attract sex workers. Now, I have nothing against sex workers but that's not what I'm seeking. Is it acceptable/reasonable/OK to expect affection? Can a casual encounter occasionally entail going to a movie or getting ice cream or, perhaps, a country drive?

I'm 60 years old and been married over 15 years. My marriage is good, relatively speaking, but lacking affection. Maybe someone can shed some light on this for me. Sort of like a profile review if there is such a thing here. What should I say?

Is "casual encounter" an appropriate definition when I am seeking one person on a regular, occasional basis, say 3 or 4 times a month?

I just want to note that while I'm 60 everything functions so I'm not seeking a platonic relationship. On the other hand my days of monkey sex are behind me.

Any and all tips/ideas most welcome. Thank-you.

Davey

Just put on your profile that your horny 60 year old fok, that wants to cheat on his wife..and that you like to do it in the outdoors with icecream and that you will pay for it.

Welcome to Mingle2

WELCOME !
But have to agree...
Good luck with that !

Thank-you for the flowers. :)

My wife has gone through menopause and now has a hormone deficiency meaning a very, very low sex drive. Her mom died from breast cancer so her doctor advised against HRT. It has now been 5 years with having sex twice in 2011 and twice in 2012.

I have not made this decision lightly. After numerous discussions I asked her if she wanted a divorce thinking she may have lost her love for me. She relied she has never been happier and I love her but the resentment is starting to creep in the marriage. I don't want the marriage to end by us hating each other so my last attempt is to seek the physical affection I require.

My wife is a good woman and is nice to me and I to her. I tried my best for five years as the physical intimacy slowly decreased until it has now completely stopped. Isn't 5 years long enough to have waited? If I was a run-around type of guy I wouldn't have been faithful for over 15 years.

menopause no excuse for cheating.what happened to in sickness and in health. tut shame on you

Understandable..Davey..I really wish the best for you..pray about it. Hang around the forums maybe someone else will have some really good advice.

am sorry but if the shoe was on the other foot and his tickle tackle stopped getting hard and his wife was randy how would he feel if she sneaked about finding guys to have sex with?my opinion.

Understandable as well.

Back in the 90’s I read an article about an author in upstate NY. He contracted prostate cancer and kept a diary requesting it be published if/when he should pass away. In the diary he wrote that he talked to his wife about sex. Here’s a rough retelling of what he said to his wife.

“You are a young, vibrant woman and I am unable to have sex. If you take a lover and be discrete and I will not intentionally try to find out. I would rather you be satisfied that way instead of leaving me in order to do so. I want to spend whatever remaining time I have with you but I don’t want you to resent it and I don’t want my cancer to cheat you out of a proper life.”

That, in my opinion, was a MAN! The article never said if she took a lover but she wanted the world to know what type of a man he was.

I have had people say I should divorce. How is deserting my partner preferable to staying with her? If my “tickle tackle” stopped working I would do whatever I could to satisfy her. Intercourse is not the only way to be intimate.

Thanks 2KidsMom. I never thought about another woman all the time I've been with her but the lack of intimacy was causing resentment to build in me. I am seeking someone who is available when my wife is at work so I won't be taking any time away for us.

It's not even a matter of sex. It's the touching and caressing and hugging and all the things that go with it. I guess it's difficult to explain how "unsettling" it is to share a life with someone you love and they don't even care if you touch them or not. I have tried not to let a wall come between us but it's difficult.

Heartfelt* I do understand, really.exactly what you are saying.
Best wishes.

I just experienced my first on Mingle.

Who should we kill??!!??!

Let me do it...I can still fit three more bodies

This thread...breaks my heart.

i don't know your beliefs, enough about your personal situation, or your spouces point of view, to give you the advice that would solve your problem

what i do know is that you more likely than not took (and received) vows when you married. the two of you have become one person, so the problem you present is not solely yours. step one, present your issue to your spouse. step two, LISTEN carefully to her side. step three, seek professional help if the two of you can not come up with a solution that benefits you both on your own. godspeed, bulldog

i guarantee i guarantee that asking for advise on a public forum about such a sensitive issue will steer you further away from the truth than you can control

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

Grab a coffee. This may be long.

My wife has been going through menopause for a number of years. She has a hormone imbalance, the same hormones that usually kick in during puberty and cause gals to be attracted to guys in a sexual way. Like in pre-puberty she now has no sexual desire.

There are treatments which are available, however, they have been associated with cancer in people who are susceptible to cancer and my wife's mother died from breast cancer.

Our sex life has been declining for 5 years until it completely stopped last year. So here's the dilemma.

Some people have suggested there must be a problem in the marriage and that's why my wife is not interested in sexual intimacy. Less than a month ago my wife told me she has never been happier and that she loves me so I've given up discussing that with people who insist there are marital problems. I can't get through to them.

Others have suggested I should tell me wife about my plans to "take a lover". Sounds reasonable until one thinks it through. I love my wife and my wife loves me so the question is what possible solution would be acceptable.

I certainly wouldn't want her to take any treatments that have the remote chance of harming her. Second, I wouldn't want to have sex, be intimate, with someone who isn't into it. I call it "pity sex". I can't think of anything more debasing. So, what good would come of informing her and having her seek a solution when there are no viable solutions?

Others have suggested she may go for an open marriage. Besides needlessly worrying about whether I may fall in love with the other woman and leave her how would her knowing be of any benefit? And what rules apply to open marriages? Can I flaunt my lover? Take her to social functions? If my wife knows and OKs it then there's nothing to hide. The neighbors can know. Her employer can know. What company image is projected when it's known one of the top management is in an open marriage? If I have no reason to keep the "affair" confidential other people will certainly find out.

Believe me, I have given this considerable thought. What has happened is resentment has started to creep in. Over the years excuses were offered as, perhaps, she didn't understand what was happening herself. Her loss of libido was due to 'this' and then 'that' and then something else and while each excuse was valid in itself it became obvious they weren't the reason. So I'm left with either resenting the situation and, ultimately, destroying the marriage by exhibiting characteristics of resentment or giving it "the old college try".

I use utmost discretion and I do not take time away from us. The lady I meet may be in a similar situation. Perhaps her husband has lost his libido. Or maybe I'll meet a single lady who doesn't want a full time relationship. In any case I will let them know the situation up front.

I have posted ADS on several venues and received a number of replies but it's just been for sex. One lady I met just undressed and laid on the bed. She wasn't interested in hugs or kissing or any affection. Needless to say nothing happened.

I hope I've shed some light on things. Not directed to you personally but so many people think it's just about sex. They make it sound sleazy and dirty when the reality is quite different.

ohkay bro, things are getting a little clearer. it seems you are looking for some justification for what you have already made up your mind to do

from my previous post:
step one, present your issue to your spouse
step two, LISTEN carefully to her side
step three, seek professional help if the two of you can not come up with a solution that benefits you both on your own. godspeed, bulldog

if you are actively seeking (and by you meeting up with someone who got naked for you, it's safe to assume you are) then your mind is made up, but your consciense won't allow you to go through with it. it seems that if you justify your actions with a thumbs up or two from random strangers on the internet, that you will be able to go through with your plans and have back up (show proof that the whole world thinks you were right in what you did) in case things go south in your present committed relationship

imho, i think you and your spouse should get professional help. maybe you will open up your mind and empathize with her feelings, instead of focusing on your own

i guarantee i guarantee i could be wrong. she could be focused only on herself. you are giving only one side of the coin

(bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

So the guy with prostate cancer couldn't have sex. And your wife went through menopause and doesn't want sex. Has no one heard of oral or manual stimulation? There are lots of things to do that don't involve intercourse, to satisfy your mate. Maybe you should talk to your wife about that. Be willing to experiment. Get kinky.